She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
