i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
