hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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