then he tried to convert me to islam
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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