What a fucking waste of an outfit
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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