First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
