So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
