I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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