Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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