Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize