So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
