She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
