So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
