it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
