I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
