you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
