rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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