I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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