Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
