when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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