The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You are the jesus of drinking
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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