that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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