how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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