Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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