i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
