is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
