Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
