Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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