Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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