watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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