Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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