Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
