just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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