Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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