whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize