I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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