Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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