I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
