I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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