then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I could fuck to npr.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
