There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
