I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
