Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
