oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
