I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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