I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
