i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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