I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
