I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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