if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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