What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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