so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize