worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
