you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
soo... how was my night?
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