I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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