What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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