They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
kristin has been a bad kristin
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
